Dark Side of the Moon

Ten Things I Hate About You

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 02:11:28 GMT

I hate the way you talk to me.
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive your car.
I hate it when you stare
I hate your stupid purple shirt.
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick--
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh --
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around.
And the fact that you didnt call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - -
not even close,
not even a little bit,

not any at all.

The Carousel

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 00:06:16 GMT

Hey look Ma! I'm riding a carousel.

And I just can't seem to get off.

Disgusted

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 01:59:27 GMT

I had my first drink two nights ago. I was so desperate to stop feeling the way I do. God, I hope no one reads this. I'm so ashamed. Disgusted. Revolted. It's not what I did; it's that I feel like I betrayed myself. I don't know what's happening with me, I can't stop feeling so goddamn depressed. I always feel like I want to hurt myself; I feel worthless; I feel helpless. It's not unusual for me to have a good cry every now and then, it's actually very cleansing.

But I know something's wrong with me when I'm crying myself to sleep for three nights straight. Maybe this is a cry for help. I tried calling a friend last night, if for nothing else than to do something other than drink. No one ever picked up. So I tried someone else. The same effect. It made me feel alone. It scared me. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't even dial the next number I was shaking so badly, and I couldn't see anything.

Drinking isn't me. It's not who I am. Being depressed isn't me. Maybe it'll pass with time. I'm afraid of people seeing me like this. I guess that's why I didn't call the people who I knew could make things better. It's like a bad dream I can't wake up from. It's like a movie you can't stop watching. I'm lost.

I walked by the mirror last night. I saw a reflection, a look on my face, that I had never seen before. I cried.

I've come to dread the night.

It's so cliche. It's so emo. It's so not me.

What's happening?

-

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 01:02:40 GMT

Wow. I love how shitty this week is after what possibly might rank as the best weekend ever.

Love. it.

Oh my god, you killed Jenny!!

You bastard.

Lessons of the Day

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 01:01:30 GMT

I learned some valuable lessons today.

iamnotdirk: plus, though, he was a colored man, i guess. penises don't contrast in color with a man's skin

Lesson 1: Guys are color coordinated... in their pants

iamnotdirk: don't get your hopes up, most men aren't eleven and a half inches
iamnotdirk: guys like that should be picked up and dropped off at porno-movie-making colonies
iamnotdirk: ..i wonder if places like that exist..
iamnotdirk: ..and if they do, what would happen if they accidentally dropped a guy off at the leper colony by mistake..
iamnotdirk: ..and falls in love with a beautiful woman with leprosy but is torn between escaping back into the real world and staying with his one true love and risking his 13-incher falling off..
iamnotdirk: i would call it...
iamnotdirk: "Member of Society"
Lizzalicious54: *falls off the chair laughing*
iamnotdirk: HEY! LOVE IS CRUEL, NOT FUNNY!
iamnotdirk: AND IF RISKING YOUR PENIS FALLING OFF ISN'T LOVE, THEN WHAT IS?

Lesson 2: Love is cruel

iamnotdirk: look, a penis is a wonderful thing
iamnotdirk: it's not all lumpy
iamnotdirk: without getting too graphic, it's roughly cylindrical

Lesson 3: ... this one speaks for itself

Let's end with a quote from everyone's favorite guy, Donnie Darko.
"That's what so illogical about smurfs, you know? What's the point in living if you don't have a dick?"

Thank you, Jake. A whole new world opened up for me.
Note to self: Rasputin's penis?

Update

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 02:58:42 GMT

Update in 30 seconds or less. Go.

Smarty lost, Reagan died, Relay rocked, Jim's thaumaturgic, Paula's hott, Kim's sexy, Jon's back, Zach's odd, Frank's creepy, and I'm out.

<3 each. and. every. one.

J'adore Jim

~`*;Lizz;*`~

I just can't say it enough...

Wed, 26 May 2004 23:27:02 GMT

still..

Happy Birthday Jim, you crazy m0f0. Give bodily fluids responsibly.

Weave a web

Sun, 23 May 2004 05:00:26 GMT

This made me cry --> Angel's Wings

Somebody kidnapped my ...

Sat, 22 May 2004 16:14:17 GMT

Last night was the phirst Phriday I've actually been out out in a while. Shrek 2 is absolutely adorable, I laughed the whole way through. Aphterwards, Jim and I were ophph on another whirlwind adventure, complete with a daring escape phrom D-Town. We even scared away some potheads.

I'm not going to the mini-con today. Los parentals decided I've been out too much lately, and iph I wanna go shopping on Sunday with Jake, I have to stay home and do chores all day. Phun.

Song oph the Moment: Holding out phor a hero - Jennipher Saunders

Hero oph the Millenium : Jim Buckley

Movie oph the Weekend: Shrek 2

<3... LizziRose

EDIT: Well I actually did make it to teh 'con. I bought pockey, played some SexSex Revolution with el KimSanford, harassed DanKeller, DanMarino, SteveSuffian, ChrisJackiewicz, Jakey (who is too cool for a last name, I've decided), and of course, raped Jon. :( Poor locker...

Yay for the Japanese. I wonder if they have American Culture Clubs in Japan? Is that a question like "Well, is all the stuff in China Made In America?"

Flyers are going to lose tonight. ^.~

EDIT EDIT: Who called the game? I did. We suck.

...

Thu, 20 May 2004 22:51:49 GMT

Happy I Hate My Uterus Day!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[rabble rabble rabble]

>:0

Today

Thu, 20 May 2004 03:56:57 GMT

Today was fsking long. It needs to be Friday.
On que for this weekend: Shrek 2, Minicon, shopping with Jakey!

So, apparently I'm getting married in a week? Wuwt?
41 days to Incubus concert, 30 days until the end of school...

J'adore le Buckley de Jim

<3... LizziRose

Lizz's Life in 30 seconds

Sun, 16 May 2004 20:08:50 GMT

Ready? Go.

Friday night: sat at home and read, did some things for my mom, practiced parallel parking.

Saturday night: Was going to go ghost hunting with some people from work (ask me about it if you're interested), but ended up raining down havoc upon random places with one Jim Buckley. We raided Kmart and Kohls, but their lack of Spiderman boxers soon had us driving for more interesting places; namely, Petco and their delicious selection of dog treats and beds. They should turn it into a hotel. Among other places currently under construction due to our destructive habits include Marshalls, several parking lots, McDonalds, and the park near my house. Then we talked until like 3 in the morning, which I guess technically would be...

Sunday: Went to Cabela's, saw a bunch of fat people and hicks. Some of those people should not own guns. Anywho, I'm here now.

Yay for you.

<3 Machall

Makeup

Fri, 14 May 2004 20:09:45 GMT

So to make up for my emo as of late, I've decided to post a happy entry.

Lizz = happy. Jim = hotttt. World = good.

Now it's time for me to go read a book, which is what I'll be doing all tonight because I'm that much of a freak.

Beyond the gray sky by 311 is only my favorite song ever, and that's what I'm listening to right now. Also, Wonderwall by Oasis has been stuck on my mind lately.

On the bus home today, I decided that the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" is a paradox within itself. More on this later.

For now... it's off to work. Fridays are always too busy.

<3 (in' you).... Lizzard

Nuts. Squirrels. What?

Fri, 14 May 2004 00:57:25 GMT

Gawd damn I am nuts.

Given the circumstances I should be crying my eyes out. I should be huddled in a corner, hating the world. I should be sacrificing social hour for much needed time alone.

I should be.

But I'm not.

I talked through some things with a friend, shared tears. There was a moment when I suddenly let all the stress from the past few weeks escape. It was intense. Call me crazy, but I feel lighter now. Almost like I could just stand outside and lift off the ground. I've never been one to hold a grudge, or let negative emotions overrun my normally positive mantra. That's just not the way I'm "wired."

And I guess I really don't feel like writing anymore.

With <3 to S.o.S. .... Lizz

Grrrr

Thu, 13 May 2004 01:38:33 GMT

I'm in a philosophically agressive mood.

Thinking about the world, and how people are, and how people act, and how I've been acting lately really gets me on a roll. It's a mix of frusturation, anger, and remorse.

It's an intense mood, one were I tend to be fervent. Apologies to those I've upset as of late, personal apologies are works in the making.

I should take up boxing.

<3... A very aggressive female

aka. The Bitch

Pac Manhattan

Mon, 10 May 2004 00:20:43 GMT

Pac Manhattan... coming soon to a Doylestown near you...

Stay posted for more information

And today...

Sat, 08 May 2004 23:46:09 GMT

First and foremost: I'm missing my lucky coin. It has a Saggitarius sign on the front, and a triple Celtic knot on the back. If anyone finds it, please return is, as it has a lot of sentimental value to it. Thanks.

Second: Last night's talent show was amazing. I think the best performances were, in no particular order, Mike Green's "The Scientist", Caitlin Danis' song, Pat, James and Smo playing Philosphy, and of COURSE the best act up there: Drew and Zach's comedy skit. Love you guys, you did amazing!! I also saw Brandon Marsh. His girlfriend is so pretty! Shame I didn't get to talk to her though, I've heard a lot about her. One of these times...

Third: After the talent show, I went to a playground and played on the monkey bars with a certain Jim Buckley. Then we just sat there watching the stars. ((And they were moving!!)) :) It was definately an awesome night.

<3 you
<3... me
<3

~;*More Than Three*;~

And So It Begins...

Wed, 05 May 2004 22:30:25 GMT

May of you have had braces. I know this because I did an ample amount of complaining before today, and found out a majority of my friends have had them. Why, then, was I not prepared for what I could rank near the top of "Worst Days Ever."

To understand what could be so traumatic about something as standard as braces, you have to understand that I have hated, nay, loathed the dentist from when I was a child. I used to hide in the bathtub or in closets before my checkup because I so hated all those instruments in my mouth. I'd cry and kick and scream and throw temper tantrums. I've been fortunate enough so far to only have one minor cavity and a couple teeth pulled, but even the thought of those send my stomach reeling.

Which brings us up to present day. For those of you who have escaped the unpleasant horrors of having braces... let me enlighten you. First, a big black woman sits you down in a chair, and speaks really slow and tells you this will be a "fun" experience.

Next, they need to find the bands that fit the back of your teeth. They push the bands on, then pull them off again, making you bit down repeatedly to "see if they fit." It feels nauseatingly like someone's jamming teeth into your mouth, making you chew the tops off of them, then pulling what's left of the tooth back out. You can actually hear the grinding and the crunching of your teeth. At one point while they were doing this, I actually started to cry and begged them to stop. They did, and gave me a couple minutes to calm down.

Admittedly, that was the worst part. But having your cheeks pulled back so they can stick instruments in your mouth, poke your tongue, and glue things to your teeth is far from pleasant. After they run the wire across and tighten it, they actually have the balls to say, "Hey, now that wasn't that bad, was it?"

Now my diet is reduced to baby food and small bits of apples that I have to cut up really tiny-like.

Then I went home, took massive amount of drugs and chocolate ice cream, and read my book. I fell asleep, dreamt that I got my braces off. Woke up to find no such luck.

Today has been a bad day.

<3... Lizz

Whabamthmap

Sun, 02 May 2004 03:14:46 GMT

Msdfjwiwetwhlktklwncoiewcn
[incoherant happy sounds and mumbles]

I love Genuardi's

^____________^

Jiminy Buckley, you are amazing

Grarl

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 20:20:26 GMT

Goddamn fsking Westies going off to Wildwood. Thanks for telling your East friends about it!! [rabble rabble]

In other news, my uncle on my dad's side has brought friends down for the weekend. This equates to them going out, getting drunk(excuse me.. "touring the breweries and bars"), and coming home to give me hell for, well, the hell of it. I plan to be out of the house as much as possible. Doing what? I don't know. I'll make it up as I go along. But my house is off limits for the weekend.

Life's just a barrel of monkies, ain't it?

<3... Lizz

P.S. Here's a picture of me in Cali in an oh-so-hott life guard pose. Hell. Yes. I *heart* Venice Beach.

[incoherant angry rambling]

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 01:14:47 GMT

So I figure I'm due for an emo entry.
Today's topic: Parents

I had a fight with mine today. Not an uncommon thing, given the usual parent-teen relationships. I have the usual quarrels. One toe steps out of line...

This fight stemmed from one of the stupidest arguments. My dad asked me to back the car out of the driveway, so I did, and took it down the street to turn around so I could get a better angle coming back in. Of course, I come back inside and my dad is flipping shit because I was outside his view. He proceeded to yell at me all the way out to the car; conveniently the whole neighborhood could hear, and stare, and turn and watch.

Only my anger kept my tears of frustration and embaressment back. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Once at band practice, I went off into a hallway and let the last few weeks frustration out in h20 form. ((<--Hey that was kinda clever)). I hate crying in front of people. I actually did let a little out in front of Nick, and I felt kinda awkward just standing there sobbing, but it passed quickly.

I cannot tell you how many times I have contemplated sneaking out of the house, smoking pot, losing my virginity, etc... doing all the things most of the rest of the world seems to be doing, for the sole reason that my parents might look back and think "Why, why, why did we get upset over such trivial matters?" I'm a straight A student, don't smoke, drink, never late for curfew, never even been past second base with a guy, never gotten a single detention. I realized why. It's because I'm not allowed to make mistakes.

At times I feel as if I'm living a half-life. What is life if you're not allowed to make mistakes? If you're not allowed to experience the downs that make the ups so gratifying? I'm thinking it's time to loosen up a bit, get in a bit of trouble, relax and see how the other half lives. This is without doing anything too drastic. The catch is, I don't think I can do this alone...

Or can I?

I'm tired of being Little Miss Perfect. I need an edge.

</emo>

In other news, today I was contacted by none other than BrandonMarsh, that hott motherfucker. That makes me happy, as he as one of the coolest kids I've ever met.

At the same time I was talking to el B.Marsh, I was talking to el Jim Buckley, the East equivilant of Marshness. So, I was talking to two awesome guys at the same time. Needless to say I had to change my pants more than once. ^.~

All in all the day turned out fairly well.

Love youuuu

<3 IHUUCMF

<3... Me

P.S. Wow that was long. I feel so much better! Until next time, stay pretty.

Silence is loudest unspoken

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 03:13:11 GMT

I'm so glad I never miss a chance to say "I love you."

How many times must we learn?

How quickly we forget..

Break (my penis)

Tue, 13 Apr 2004 02:35:38 GMT

Break = awesome. Today was the second of two inconsecutive amazing days of break. Even though I had to get up early to help Luke with his GP, it was all good in the end, because I did something I love doing and hung out with some awesome people while doing it.

We actually aquired people as time progressed. I mean, they just started following us out of nowhere. Wow what losers.

Then was Randazzo's, then to Bryan's house for some crazy games of poker. I actually had a lot of fun, as well as conquered one of my greatest fears. (Thanks Steve!!) Now how's THAT for.. um.. [brain fart]

Right well. This just means California is going to be all that more crazy.

I can't wait.

<3... Me

Happy Easter, Fucklets

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 19:41:56 GMT

<3... Me

Giggly

Sun, 11 Apr 2004 03:40:38 GMT

Wow. Just, wow. I just got back from hanging out with a supremely sexcellent amigo. We went to see the whole ten yards (which is a hilarious movie, highly recommended). Then went to split a banana split at Friendlies. Twas oodles of fun. And by oodles of fun I mean about as fun as a night with Kim.Sanford and both P's!!

Ryan = my hero. :-D <3

So that's what I did in my lack of drumline time this weekend, for all you nosy persons.

Easy as pie!

<3... Me